January 1, 2025

Feel Everything You Need To Feel

By Jamie Metzgar

 

If you’re wondering why you’re feeling overwhelmed, confused, or just plain sad, you’re not alone. The holidays tend to kick up all sorts of emotions. If you’re already grappling with grief or loss, it’s completely normal to feel a complication of emotions right now.

Grief is a natural reaction to loss. While “loss” typically means the death of a loved one, grief can also pop up after any major life upheaval that challenges our sense of self and our sense of order in the world. Grief shakes our entire foundation, and we often feel lost, overwhelmed, angry, and yes, a little crazy.

What are normal emotions while experiencing grief? The short answer is everything. It’s totally normal to feel like you’re on a wild rollercoaster. Some of the most common emotions are sadness, anger, denial, resentment, and pain. However, it’s also natural to feel a sense of relief, disbelief, and betrayal as well. There’s no one way to feel, and grief makes that clear.

“Grief is a natural reaction to loss. While “loss” typically means the death of a loved one, grief can also pop up after any major life upheaval that challenges our sense of self and our sense of order in the world.”

 

It’s also totally normal to feel not very much at all, like a cloud of blankness has descended around you. Our brains often try to protect us from the profound pain of loss by throwing us into a mental haze. That fogginess is normal and will dissipate little by little, though some people experience it for much longer than others. 

So what can help as we navigate our way through grief? There’s no quick fix, as much as we’d like there to be. But there are a few things that can allow us to feel everything we need to and move towards accepting this new stage of life:

  • Grant yourself patience, love, and understanding and surround yourself with people who do the same. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People want to help but don’t know how. Be honest, even if that means saying ‘I need to be left alone for a while.’ 
  • Understand that no emotion lasts forever. It may not feel that way for a while but one day, you’ll be surprised to realize you’re smiling about something. Let that be a reminder that no feeling is forever, not even profound grief.
  • Get through one day at a time. You might not want to (and that’s normal too!) but just take life day by day. Rest, sleep, zone out. Listen to your body. It’s trying to help. 
  • Connect with others. Humans are social beings, and grief is an integral part of the human experience. Whether it’s seeking out professional support or talking with friends who understand you, being with those who simply hold space is invaluable. 

No one wants to experience grief and loss, but everyone will at some point. It’s worth providing ourselves all with the compassion and love we need to survive. 

////

You may also like